In control and loving it

*I posted this within my blog on Alopecia World but thought it would be good to share here too :)


4 months ago, I was in such a different place. My hair was dropping like crazy and I could no longer go out without any head covering. I was miserable and full of self-doubt and definitely not confident. I had just been laid off and admittedly a little afraid of getting back out into the workforce because of alopecia. I was worried and concerned. "How would I go to interviews?" "How would I take people looking at my wigs and wondering if it's my hair?" Such and similar questions permeated and consumed my mind. It was a horrible time.

I didn't really look. I kept in touch with my contacts in my old industry but didn't really start job searching. I convinced myself that something would turn up even though this industry was really quite small here in Singapore. The real reason that I didn't look was because I was afraid of venturing out. I was literally being held back by my hair. I went on a wonderful beach vacation in February and when I came back, I was still full of self-doubt and loathing. Really not helping myself get back into the game.

Then one day, after this huge meltdown with my boyfriend which was caused by me pushing him away because I felt he should be with someone more normal, I decided that it was enough. I didn't want this to control my life anymore. And I really didn't want to lose my boyfriend. I wanted to be in control. I googled, I searched and found Alopecia World where it was so comforting to find other women like myself. I didn't feel alone anymore. If she can do it, then so can I. I was inspired by all the beautiful and strong women on this site and decided I would also try to be supportive for others as well.

As the days went on, I started feeling positive, and happier. My boyfriend noticed a difference in my attitude. "You are so much happier and that makes me happy", he said to me out of the blue. That made me smile because I was really happy. For once, I felt in control. Aha, take that alopecia!

I started actively job searching in March, reevaluating my career direction and reformatted my resume and got down to business. I was focused and determined and nothing was going to stop me. I felt like me again. I started interviewing two weeks ago and then last Thursday I went in for an interview with a company I really wanted to work for. I felt confident and made the right connections. An hour after I left, I received an offer that I couldn't refuse.

I start work next week. And I couldn't be happier.